Free tool · in development

Candle ceremony builder.

The candle-lighting moment is one of the most personal parts of a bar or bat mitzvah party — and one of the easiest to overthink. The builder will generate a ceremony script tailored to your family, with prompts for each of the thirteen candles. For now, the standard thirteen-candle structure most NY-area planners use:

  1. 01Grandparents who couldn't be here
  2. 02Living grandparents
  3. 03Parents
  4. 04Siblings
  5. 05Aunts, uncles, cousins
  6. 06Best friends
  7. 07Hebrew school / day school friends
  8. 08Camp friends
  9. 09Sports / hobby friends
  10. 10Teachers and rabbi/cantor
  11. 11Family friends
  12. 12Anyone we missed
  13. 13The bar/bat mitzvah, by themselves
Permission line

You don’t need a candle ceremony at all. Plenty of families skip it. If you do one, fewer candles + longer dedications usually plays better than thirteen rushed ones.